*Sometimes saving the best for last isn't what it's cracked up to be. This week our red dachshund-an 11 pound dog-delivered eight beautiful puppies. My husband has never had a dog of his own. He first inherited my silver double dapple doxie, Zeppe. After falling for him, he asked for one that could be "his". So enters Emma. On Tuesday, Emma had six boys and two girls. We branded the last pup born 'Lucky'. Born with a cleft palate of sorts, his chances were limited. He passed away last night. We mourn this loss however we are happy he is no longer struggling. To makes things worse, puppy #7 died this evening. He was the second runt and resembled Zeppe with his silver markings and tri-colored face. These two will be missed and remembered. They now have each other. What amazes me more than ever is the absolute miracle of life. Science can explain how it's done but creating something out of nothing is something we cannot boast to have achieved on our own. The six remaining pups are strong, robust puppies. I acted as a mid-wife during the four hour delivery and I recommend if you don't believe in God, find yourself a birth, watch the miracle of life begin and then please come explain how you do not know there is a God who created all this we call life.
This brought to mind another issue. What age are you in heaven? Is your age determined by what age you die? Do you get to chose which age once you're up there? Or can you change ages depending on your mood for that day and the activities you want to do...today I want to swing or today I want to be with my husband...Or is your spirit ageless in the after life or maybe all ages at once?
You are throw into a marriage with assumptions and love to cover those discrepancies. I mailed my husband's mom the first of our wedding pictures and when mentioning it to him, he asked, "Did you use DHL?"
"Why would I use DHL? No, I sent them regular mail."
He sighed in obvious frustration. "Natalie, my mom isn't going to get those pictures. I told you to use DHL when sending things to Mexico." His tone was edgy.
"No you haven't! What's the big deal? Why don't you trust the mail?"
See my husband was driving me crazy because when we mailed our forms in for immigration, he kept asking if I could triple check to see if they arrived. Why wouldn't they arrive? I thought him paranoid and it has caused a few heated spurts.
This was the moment when I discovered my faulty assumption. His mom didn't get her birthday card. His dad never opened his Father's day card. "Is Mexico's system like Italy?"
"Yes, Natalie, except things don't only take forever but often do not ever show up. To guarantee it, you must use DHL."
Now this is where I said something that I realize after it came out, it wasn't so nice. "So you are telling me that in Mexico, in order to get something delivered, you hire an American company?" I was merely fabbergasted at this reality.
"Yes."
Now it was beginning to make sense. All these fights over using regular mail, the doubts, the paranoia...it all came together. He wasn't crazy after all. I was operating out of a state of complete ignorance.
"Ok, darling. I'm sorry. Here's the deal. The United States Postal System works. What you mail, if the right postage is used, gets wherever it's supposed to go (in the U.S. anyway). I've never had a problem with it. Never. You can trust it." Pause "But from this day on, I understand I must use DHL for Mexico."
Old habits die hard. Just this week, my husband was irritated with me when I sent forms through standard mail letting Homeland Security know our address had changed. He assumed I used certified. He hasn't learned yet to trust the system I trust. So I'll give him time. Just one more lesson in the book of marriage: Don't assume your mates' perception of reality matches your own.
And don't assume everyone is a morning person. I'm not. I like to have my shower or breakfast before bringing joy into the world. My husband wakes up with enough energy to power three or four children. I love his energy. But at 6 am, I do not love it. What I've learned is to keep my mouth closed and think positive thoughts. Also the 30 minute jog he has every morning allows me to prepare to be the loving wife I want to be.
The funny thing about marriage is you pledge your whole life to one person. One person. Your life, love, devotion, loyalty and all those good things we all want out of our relationships. Then one morning you wake up and realize: hey, maybe I'll never be a morning person translation maybe this will never change. But I can appreciate those who are. If nothing else, the early birds get things going. And you can't hate someone who wakes up smiling. Or you can. But I guarantee you'll be missing out. Not to mention expending extra energy you don't even have.
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